So after I wrote the previous post to my dear ladies that live in MT, it really hit me that there are very important girls that I owe so much to as well and I have not told them. These girls have been there literally since day 1. They have been there long before glow ups and boyfriends. Before the instagram posts and filters, tweets and overshared Facebook posts. We endured our awkward dorky phases, and rebellious stages of preteen girls thinking they are smarter than their mothers.
When we get lucky enough to still have these connections we should cherish them and never take them for granted. I feel like I did. A lot of people who grew up together, grow apart later in life and everything you shared before is nothing but a memory. I don't want that to happen. We made it this far, and I want it to stay for a lifetime. But it's selfish of me to say that and not have put in the same energy I was given. Yes I was living my life separately and I had many things going on and its hard to be in so many different places but there are spaces that I could have been more connected. I am working on being more present and connected to the people I love and cherish. I think its important that we all work on these things because life is short, we lose people quickly, and I don't want to wake up one day and say “ I should have been a better friend”
With that being said here is my letter to you. (There will be a part 3 after this)
Grab your tequila honey, let's have a chat.
ENJOY SLIDESHOW OF SHENANIGANS
Thank you for the years of love and laughs. Growing up I didn’t have a lot but I had you. I never thought I would leave for 5th grade camp and find the missing piece to my puzzle. Someone who matched my personality to a T and understood me for the weird crazy person that I was. I was always outgoing as a kid but there was still a part of me that was ashamed of that until I met you. Not that I was meeting you for the very first time but it was the first that we connected. Who knew that an attempt at bullying would have the opposite effect and it would spark the greatest friendship of our lives. We left camp not knowing what the future of our friendship would hold but we stuck together and made unforgettable memories, shared belly laughs so big that we couldn’t breathe. Shared tears, and even bickered like an old married couple. But we loved each other endlessly.
We got older and things began to change, we reached a wall and things fell apart. I don't have many regrets but the day we stopped being friends is a day that I forever hold onto and a blame that I carry. Even though I was a kid and there were things I didn’t understand like I do now, I still believe I could have done better. For that I am sorry. I am sorry for an hurt I caused you and for not being there through that span of time or anytime you needed me for that matter past and present. I cant go back and change the past but I believe that its never too late for accountability and taking responsibility for our wrong doings.
The day we reconnected was one of the greatest days of my life. We were different people but our friendship was still the same. We were just as weird (and funny) as we were when we were kids. Even though we lived different lives, we still loved each other the same. I am forever grateful for that.
Fast forward some years, we are now adults, living the lives we dreamed of but before we get to that there is something I have to say, Thank you for sticking by my side when my world came crashing down. Thank you for protecting me when someone came in and hurt me. In that moment, in that room I could not keep my eyes open or stand on my own two feet, but I could hear your voice in the midst of it all fighting for me and I felt your hands holding me up. I was afraid, I was hurt and you were the one to rescue me. A thank you would never be enough, Ive racked my brain over and over on how I could ever repay you, and nothing ever seems to be enough. I am forever in your debt. In this life you have had to protect so many while no one was protecting you, and many people would have just given up on everything and everyone. But you didn’t. You are extraordinary, and a gift to those of us who are blessed enough to be loved by you. I am sorry if I don't tell you enough. But now you won’t be able to shut me up.
To top it all off, we made a pact when we were kids that we would be the maid of honors at each others weddings and the God mothers to our first born children. You kept your promise. You blessed me with my beautiful God-daughter Lilliana June. You could have given someone else the title but you still saw something in me to be the one deserving of such an honor and great responsibility. Its not just a title to me. It's a true blessing. I am forever grateful and of course Ive always planned on keeping our promise on my end, I just haven’t caught up yet lol. Finally secured the boyfriend/future husband, we are just working up to the rest of the perks.
Shyy, I am proud to call you my sister. I did a lot of growing up and learned a lot about this life. One thing being we don't get second chances often so we have to tell the people we love how much they mean to us while they are still here. I am blessed to still have someone that was in my life from the start. I am excited for the future and what’s in store. I am so happy you have a man who loves you and Lilliana to the ends of the earth.
I love you beyond the moon,
JESUS THE EDITING LMAO